Top Ten Methods of Measuring the Success of your Blog

Tuesday, January 5, 2010 , Posted by Johnny Fuery at 5:35 PM

Originally Published 2007-07-06 16:35:41


  1. You get 22 comments on a post lacking humor, insight, controversy, or a Transformers trailer.

  2. Your RSS Subscriber count is higher than both your age and the age of your last girlfriend. Combined! And you've called your mom, and no, she didn't sign up for 63 Google Reader accounts just to stack your numbers like she used to do when your public school ran their annual magazine drive.

  3. You have groupies. They might be unattractive guys from some country you've never heard of, let alone locate on a map or know how to spell, but hey, they're groupies.

  4. Your posts get submitted to digg by someone you don't know.

  5. Other bloggers with whom you have no prior relationship start tagging you with memes, link back gimmicks, and, generally-speaking, look at you as linkbait material. You, being the savvy and experienced blogger that you are, only take the bait on half of them.

  6. FuelMyBlog has flagged your blog and is preventing you from showing up on the "Top Blogs List" because they think you're cheating the system.

  7. Old friends, colleagues, alumni, lovers, and Starbucks baristas start contacting you via your blog's contact form instead of hunting you down on MySpace, LinkedIn, or Facebook. Or even -- what's that extra feature on the iPhone called? -- oh, right, calling you on the phone.

  8. You have a unique surname that was traditionally always misspelled because it sounds like a dictionary word, yet people are starting to think that your surname is how the dictionary word is actually spelled. Quite infueriating, isn't it? Hell hath no fuery like a blogger's scorn, as they say.

  9. Spammers are using your domain as the Reply-To address. Suddenly your inbox is full of auto-responder messages claiming that Dr. so-and-so is on vacation and will be back after the holiday. Naturally, Dr. so-and-so is a moonshine distiller, lives in Libya, and has now submitted your name to his local Abu Nidal cell. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.


And the number one method of measuring success is...

  1. You read the following sentence and don't laugh. Bloggers get laid.

Comments

On 2007-07-07 10:02:04 Chee Kui said:
Sounds like a good way of measuring blogging success ;) hehe!

On 2007-07-08 07:57:21 betshopboy said:
My favourite is point 9. LOL!!

My blog certainly do not have that kind of success with respect to point 9. Come to think of it, I should start asking my mom to sign up 100 Google accounts so that all can be used to subscribe to my feed!

On 2007-07-08 13:53:49 Johnny Fuery said:
The higher your RSS numbers, the more mob-mentality kicks in. Whenever I see someone with over a 100 or so readers, I pay a few extra moments of attention -- if 100 people think a blog is worth reading, maybe I should try and see why!

I promise I haven't scripted an auto-RSS reader generation widget, btw. My numbers are real. You can tell by the 10% drops on the weekends (because desktop based readers don't fetch if they aren't running).

Still, might be an interesting idea. I bet such a widget would be super-popular... and then completely trash RSS subscriber metrics as a method of evaluating blog success. Hmmmmm.

On 2007-07-10 12:12:24 Green Llama said:
#1 has got to be the best. And no, I didn't laugh when I read it. Of course, I'm a married man, so that helps a bit ;)

On 2007-07-10 16:23:00 Johnny Fuery said:
Darn it! I was going for the chuckle...

On 2007-07-10 16:27:16 Johnny Fuery said:
The key question is, does your wife think blogging makes your more attractive, less attractive, or is it just neutral?

:-)

On 2007-07-10 17:58:05 Green Llama said:
Haha I'd have to say neutral. And if I was single, I think it's safe to say that blogging wouldnt be a turnon ;)

On 2007-07-11 19:44:23 Jason Spence said:
Well, #1 got me to chuckle. I guess that means I'm not successful.

On 2007-07-12 05:39:15 Johnny Fuery said:
Psssssh.

I think that at some point, blogging actually might help with #1, but at that point, it's the wealth, success, and fame, not the actual blogging.

Every date in my recent memory has been in spite of my blogging habit. ;-)

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